As I’ve mentioned before, my friend Annie made this necklace for me. It’s full of little jokes about me, her and us.
This is me as seen by The Boy – in the hills, slightly windswept.
As seen by Lorna – playful, sexy (!?!) and smiley.
And as seen by me…I’m not sure why my stripey socks has become such an icon for me. A safe image? A sexless image? I like to think it’s playful…it’s certainly me…
I’m not at my best today – you wouldn’t think that I’m i) having my hair done tonight ii) going on holiday on Sunday!
I dislike my body at the best of times (which is fairly common female feeling) – but right now it disgusts me, probably as a result of being so below par, I have nothing to distract me.
Here is lovely me (perhaps I should get a contact lense…?)…
Hmm, don’t like this very ‘News of the World’…
How about a healthy glow?
Or a message from inside the perfume bottle?
I took this self-portrait a little while ago. It was a time when I was very unhappy, and I wanted to emphasise how raw I was feeling.
[As requested here is a crop of the colour picture for comparison.]
Now, I admit I’m a monchrome girl, but I think this version is more powerful (although it does bring out my freckles) – what do YOU think?
Those of you that follow Lorna’s blog, will know that my portrait was finished a few days ago. Here it is in place – as you can see, Lorna and I calculated the availiable space to the millimetre!
It’s a very powerful piece, and I think that Lorna has managed to catch my ‘essence’. She was rather worried about how The Boy would feeling sleeping both underneath as well as next to me. He looks fairly comfortable don’t you think?
Lorna is painting my portrait at the moment. As you can see, it’s quite large. It’s going to be interesting working out where to hang it at home.
It was very strange to see all the source images around. I’m just not used to seeing so many pictures of me!
As you’ll have seen from my previous posts, I love the profusion of stuff in an artist’s working space. I was pleased to see Bunny (an Easter present from me) supervising.
Mmmmm – the richness of colour here is fantastic. The purple and the pinky-red are a sumptuous mix.
And here is the exhasuted artist!
Following on from my glasses musings, I had a chat with Lorna. Amongst other things she asked me what I wanted her to do about the fact that my eyes don’t focus together. Be true to life? Or paint them in as the same?
I know that this is true of my eyes, of course, but I hadn’t thought about it for a long time.
So I decided to photograph my eye movement. The moves are extreme – but it’s very obvious with UP.
No so obvious with DOWN.
Blindingly obvious with RIGHT.
And frankly demented with LEFT.
Seeing myself like this has made me feel rather strange. For the portrait, I’m with Oliver Cromwell – but right now I feel as I did when I was a young teenager. That I’m a strange looking creature that everyone must be laughing at.
My friend Lorna is going to be starting to work on my portrait again soon. It’s a nude – which poses me with a number of questions. The pose we used before was far too passive, so we need to think about that. The question that I’ve been pondering this evening, is whether I wear my glasses or not.
On the one hand, it would look more natural and be more intimate without them. On the other, they are so much part of me.
They are the first thing I put on in the morning and the last thing I take off at night. I’ve worn them since I was 10 years old, when I lost my right eye in an accident.
Yes – I do hide behind them.
Without them ,my false eye, and the scars on my right cheek ,from a car accident, are more visible. I am truely naked.
And I realised this evening, taking these photographs – that I NEVER see myself without glasses. The woman is a stranger.
This leads to the question of who this portrait is for. A. commissioned it, but Lorna says that she’s painting it for me. I want Lorna to paint me as she sees me, not to please, or be a nice, pretty painting.
So I guess the glasses question is down to Lorna. It would be interesting to know how other glasses wearers feel.