Lots of peeps have asked me how I’m getting on with the whole radical honesty thing, so I thought I’d blog a bit. Having read a bit of Brad’s book – I think he’s a bit of a tosser, but it’s stimulated a lot of thought.
As previously blogged the push behind radical honesty isn’t a moral one, but rather a psycholological/health one. Interestingly, like the meditation techniques I learnt (and have let lapse!) last year, it anchors you in present experience – training you to ignore the evaluative voice in the back of the mind.
In trying to tell the truth at all times, it’s made me evaluate why and when I lie. It’s always because of how I THINK others are going to react to the truth, whether it’s my slightly ‘sexing up’ an anecdote or trying to hide the fact the reason I’m not hungry is because I’ve been stuffing chocolate all afternoon. I want/need people to like me, to approve of me. And in the past that’s meant my trying to hide my struggles, until I can’t hold on any longer and break down or blow up.
So, in order to avoid the anticipated bad reaction (even if it’s not an angry outburst, just a change in their view of me) – I blurt out some lie, which most of the time is so poor that it’s seen through at once. Leading to guarenteed bad reaction/relationship breakdown. Or in order to make sure that people continue to want to spend time with me, I feel that I need to supply ‘material’ to keep them amused and to ignore my needs and feelings.
My plan, such as it is, is to keep on with the radical honesty, and monitor the consequences.